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My Crazy-Assed Trip to Montreal, Part Deux

I’m back again! I know, took me long enough!

Anyway, I’m thinking, a dangerous thing, so my husband says…It is nearly 3:00 AM on Wednesday, May 16th, and I’m just going to start this off.

When last I wrote, my friend Jane and I were heading north on the NY Thruway, figuring we’d make it to Albany that night, before we’d both get too tired to talk, sing, and otherwise entertain ourselves in the car. Now, according to Jane, I kept screaming “WE’RE GONNA DIE!” repetitively, while taking swigs out of my blue bottle of Mylanta that was on the floor, between my feet.

I have to admit, the weather was really terrible, and driving conditions were awful. There aren’t lights along the NY Thruway, and in some places, the road has such a narrow shoulder on the right side that it looked as though it would be so easy for Jane to just veer the car off into a ditch! (So it is quite possible that I truly was screaming “WE’RE GOING TO DIE!”  in some of the more narrow parts of the road.) And…I know I was drinking Mylanta out of the bottle, but wishing it was something a bit stronger. Like tequila perhaps.

Jane and I were out of the City and heading through Westchester County in…uh…about two hours, I believe. Maybe longer. Afterall, it was a Friday night, and we weren’t the only ones fleeing the City for the weekend. We were on our way to Albany, and parts further north!

On our way to Albany, the first leg of our adventure, it rained non-stop. I think we were actually planning on going farther north than Albany, but since it took so long to escape the hellish traffic (New Yorkers may know how to drive in the snow, but I swear, they don’t know how to drive in rain!) and the nasty road conditions, we had to alter our itinerary, which, if we indeed had one, certainly wasn’t set in stone. I kept looking for the glow-in-the-dark lines denoting the lanes and the shoulder of the road, but alas, there were none. I was also looking for the glowing “pegs” in the road, like we had in California. (Later, I was told that they couldn’t do such things in the roads and highways, because they would (the pegs, especially) ruin the blades on the snow plows. Made sense to me, but hell, it was raining like no one’s business, and after all, WE WERE GOING TO DIE AND BE LEFT IN A DITCH ASIDE THE NY THRUWAY, NOT TO BE FOUND FOR DAYS!

Once on the NY Thruway, the traffic eased up, and we were on our way, albeit at a cautious pace. Jane, after all, had only had a driver’s license for a few years, so she wasn’t quite ready for the Indy 500 (or the California freeways, which at non-rush hours, one could easily go 80 m.p.h. and [typically] not get pulled over). But it was late, and we were wearing out, so we found the exit to the State Capital, and when Jane pulled up to the toll booth, she asked the toll-collector (before handing over the money) if he knew of a place where we could spend the night for a ‘modest” rate. I don’t remember what he said, but we ended up at an Econo-Lodge, I believe, and when we entered to check-in (dressed in totally unglamorous casual clothes), we found ourselves almost surrounded by lobbyists, aka ”bloated blowhards” (I love alliterations!) offering to buy us drinks in the bar, which was adjacent to the lobby. One quick peek (and “sniff”) at the darkened bar made it so very, very easy for us to head straight up to our room, put on our PJs and play cards for a while. Besides, we had our own bottle of wine (for me) and a few bottles of “designer” beer (which is an oxymoron to me, but hell, they sure have cool labels!) to consume before we hit the Canadian border.

Ahhhh…Comfort at last! It had been such a long day for both of us, but obviously neither of us cared a whit about that. All we wanted to do was to drink and play cards, most likely the game “Spite and Malice”, or “Bolivia”, both of which required a reasonable amount of table space. Well, Jane, an artist (and cracker-jack computer programmer to pay the bills) decided that in order to expedite our card-playing, we’d have to move what in retrospect seems as though it was not just a humongous square table, but one that weighed enough to pull both our backs out. (Maybe that was the entire point: To prevent crazies such as us from rearranging the furniture!) After quite a joint effort, we managed to get the table between the beds, allowing each of us to sit on our respective beds, with our newly christened card table conveniently located. (Did I mention that we also had to move the beds as well, to “enlarge” the space between the two? With the headboards being stationary fixtures on the wall, and the beds not on casters, it was even more of a herculean effort than the 100-lb. table! But never underestimate two dames from Brooklyn with more determination than upper body strength!)

We proceeded to deal the cards, and I don’t know how long we managed to play cards (Jane always seemed to win; and she didn’t even have to cheat to do it, the way my older sister did when we were kids), but I’m sure between the wine, beer, and Friday night exhaustion, it wasn’t for long.

Saturday morning arrived, along with respite from the driving rain of the previous night.

And therein lies the next part of our adventure as we were “Off to Montreal”!

I really, really promise this time to not wait 11 months before writing “My Crazy-Assed Trip to Montreal, Part Trois”

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My Crazy-assed Road Trip to Montreal c.1995

When I was living in Brooklyn, USA, my best friend (with apologies to my Lab) and I decided to take a trip north-of-the-border to Montreal. This was an “important” trip, as it was the “shake-down trip” for my friend’s new used car, and it was an amazing adventure to say the least.

Now, before I get into this, I have to explain something. My friend, with whom I had so many adventures both in and out of NYC,  was an amazing person and a real native Brooklynite: Bright, a Catholic school survivor with  a propensity for wearing black, with her “Goth” accessories that hid the fact that she was brilliant, artistic and an in-demand computer “jockey”. She was a street-wise as I was not and for that I admired her, as she taught me how to bely my SoCal “innocence” and act “like a real native New Yorker”.

Unfortunately she  has been incommunicado with me since about 2001, as I recall. She sadly, lost her husband to cancer, and shockingly, I had to hear the awful news in an email from a friend and former colleague of mine. I was so shaken-up, but I had no way to express my condolences to my dear friend, nor get back in touch with her. So, with that in mind, since I have no permission to use her name, I’m going to change her name to something else, like a very generic “Jane”. So read on for more “Fun with Susie and Jane”, as we took our show on the road through Upstate New York, across the border, into Canada.

I remember that it was a cool, early spring day: The kind of day when despite the last few remnants of snow were still scattered around the flower beds surrounding my co-op building, while shoots of green were starting to make their way out of the frosty soil, reminding me that winter was finally over. (I hoped.) On the other hand, it was the kind of weather that made me truly understand something that Garrison Keillor said when I was at his New York broadcast of “A Prairie Home Companion”. He said (and I paraphrasing here) “New Yorkers, who experienced a particularly harsh winter really deserve spring and all its promise. How true.

But on this weekend afternoon, I got a call from Jane, telling me to wait a few minutes and then go downstairs and stand on the sidewalk on the side of my building. I had a feeling that Jane might have gotten a new car, because afterall, she’d had to junk her beloved first car, an old AMC that was a kind of revolting lime green/chartreuse, which she appropriately named “Swampy”. Swampy finally died, and he was towed away by a Rasta-man, according to Jane. She really went into mourning, playing New Orleans jazz dirges all day. I don’t remember if I still had the car I shared with my cousin (a bright red Ford Escort that was very troublesome. She called it “The Tomato”, while I called it (and I think aptly) “The Cherry Bomb”.

But back to Jane, and her mysterious call. I went down and waited on the sidewalk as instructed, and down the street I see a silver car driving along the left side of the one-way street, heading right toward me. There was Jane behind the wheel of her “new” used car, a silver Chevy Celebrity sedan, a model that was popular in the 80s, I believe.  Jane told me to get in to go for a drive.  I ran upstairs, grabbed my purse, a neck scarf, and one of my numerous hats. I gave Duncan, my Lab, a hug and told him I’d be back in time for dinner, (a word he knew well) and grabbed the elevator down to the street.

So, there we were, in Jane’s new wheels, and it felt as if we could go anywhere. Well, she decided that we should go over to the main drag in Park Slope, the neighborhood in which I lived. There we were on Seventh Avenue, and we decided to go in and have a drink at one of our favorite haunts, a bar with a restaurant in the back, where incidentally, I saw my very first salad bar in New York! (Hey now, give me a break! I was living in London, returned home to SoCal, and sixth months later it was off to New York, so I missed all the salad bars that had become staples in California restaurants.)

Sorry about that…Back to Jane and the joy I could see on her face she drove us about Brooklyn, fortunately not to any of the “scary blocks” we had discovered while ”exploring around” in her old car. Those were small blocks over near the Gowanus Canal (which used to be notorious for being the place where cops would find bodies that had managed to float to the top) in a neighborhood of warehouses and a few auto garages (and probably “chop shops”) which were mostly “uninhabited” by anyone during the day. At least we never saw anything other than a lot of grafitti scrawled over the metal “garage doors” that came down over the warhouse entrances.  I was glad we didn’t go around there in the dark. (I would’ve really felt out of my “element” in that case.)

So, Jane (and I) were so happy about her new car. On a trip home I even bought a license plate frame for her that I had made at the Orange County Swap Meet. It read, “My Other Car is a Hearse”. She loved that, so fitting with her macabre sense of humor. (In reality, I know that Jane had a secret desire to buy an old hearse for transportation! Thank God she didn’t find any on the used car lot(s) run by Russian immigrants she checked-out when looking for a second used car.

Now with the new used car, Jane decided it was time to “take the show on the road”. She phoned me one evening not long after I got done walking my dog in Prospect Park, and asked me if I could get a few days off work. I told her that my office was in a “low point” in the City’s budget cycle, meaning that things were quiet until the next budget came out. I checked with my vet’s office to see if they would have room for Duncan for about four days, and they told me, as usual, that he was “always welcome.” Check. That was taken care of.  Next, I had to check with my boss if there was anything that might come up during the first few days of the following week. (We were making the trip a “long weekend”. )

I immediately phoned Jane and told her that I was on board and would be ready to leave Friday night.  Good. Everything was set.

Thursday night I packed my duffel bag and rucksack (including my pillow and my teddy bear.) Not having been to Montreal, and wanting very much to try my French, which I hadn’t really spoken in ages, uh, years, I was quite excited anticipating the “road trip”.

Friday morning, I looked out the window and discovered that the weatherman on WNBC’s 11:00 p.m. newscast Thursday night was, unfortunately, spot on: it was raining, when just a day before, the sun was shining and the sky clear and blue! Damn, what a letdown that was, to say the least.

I put my raincoat over my “mud clothes” and a baseball cap on my head, and took Duncan to the park, where we had off-leash hours before 9:00 a.m. It seemed like only the “die-hard” core of Park Slope “dog people” were their with their canine friends. Nevermind that, Duncan and his yellow Lab “girlfriend”, Shirley, and my friend Beth’s huge golden retriever, Jordan, seemed to be enjoying the muddy field they were playing and running around in. The three of them, somehow “led” by Duncan, who is definitely not an “alpha dog”, were rolling in the muddiest part of the field: an area bordering one of the many baseball diamonds. Those of us who had “dirty dogs” had to get going, so I ushered Duncan home, and of course he shook himself off right in the lobby of my building! We hustled upstairs, and once again, Duncan decided to shake off in the elevator. Thank God there were no other passengers. I got to my door and got Duncan, aka “Stinky”, a name given him by my cousin Elizabeth, who lived nearby, into the entrance hall and made him stand still while I took a beach towel I had handy for the task, and wiped off the mud embedded in the pads of his paws, wiped his legs, and tried to get the rest of his body, especially his tail, that was apt to wag and hit anything around the house. Fortunately, with hardwood floors, I would have an easy cleanup on the floors when I got home.

Got to work that morning, a little soggy, but no worse for wear. I talked to Jane on the phone and told her I was going to leave work early, to get Duncan to the vet’s office.

Well, after a quiet day in the office (which was pretty unusual), I took off and when I got home, I saw “tail prints” all over the light pink walls in the long entry hall. Nothing unexpected, but I thought I’d better wipe them off when I got home from taking Duncan to the veterinarian’s office. I called a gypsy cab aka “car service”, which were independent taxis that served areas that were more residential than the City, or other areas of Brooklyn. Luckily, I found a car that could come immediately, and didn’t mind having a dog along as a passenger. So, down to the vestibule, the area between the outer unlocked doors of the building, and the locked doors, that could only be opened with keys or when a guest was buzzed in by a resident contacted first via the intercomm system. We waited for the cab, which came right away, and Duncan and I were whisked off quickly to the Park Slope Animal Hospital. I took Dunky in and they said they’d give him a bath for me. Guess there was no way to disguise his grunginess from the receptionist at the animal hospital. They took Duncan after I said a goodbye, and I ran back out into the rain and jumped into the cab and was taken home. I paid the cabby and jumped out at home.

I had a message on my machine from Jane to give me a call as soon as I got home. Having been all packed since the night before, I grabbed my leather jacket, a scarf and beret, and I was ready! I called Jane, and she asked when she could come pick me up. I told her that I was ready whenever she wanted to go. After she replied that she was going to leave right away, I went downstairs with my stuff, and waited for Jane, who said she’d pull up in front of the building so I wouldn’t have to wait out in the rain.

In about 5 minutes, Jane was there, honking for me, just for the “obnoxious fun of it”. I ran out with my bags, which I threw into the back seat, so as not to have to fool around with the trunk in the rain.

And with that, we were finally off. Susie and Jane were on their way! North to Canada. (It somehow doesn’t have the “ring” of “North to Alaska”, but we were still taking the “silver streak”, as I called the car, on her first long road trip! We both had our Triple A cards with us, which if you read on in “Part Deux”, you’ll understand the significance of the gesture.

So, off in the rain, and rush hour traffic, we headed toward the NY Thruway, which took us a lot more time than anticipated, due to the heavy downpours and the slow rush hour movement of traffic, because some of the roads were flooded in places where the East River had risen to the level of the FDR Drive.

So,we come to the end of the first installment of “My Crazy-assed Road Trip to Montreal c.1995.” Believe me, it gets better, and waaay crazier (and funny)!

So, stay tuned for “Part Deux” of this story. I promise it will not be three months, like the time since my last blog! Look for it within a week or so!

And thanks to all my friends, relatives, and enemies who read this (and hopefully enjoyed it, and didn’t think it was a complete waste of time.)

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One Never Outgrows Their Fear of Cooties

Cooties you say?

It never ceases to amaze me how the topic of cooties, and the fear of the,  has popped up again and again over the course of my life.

Cooties? Well, yes. In fact, just last night, as we were going to bed (at our unfortunate habit of doing so at 3:00 a.m. or so), they reared their ugly “heads” (or fill in whatever body part you might prefer. Afterall, the body of a cootie is up to your own imagination; I don’t ever remember them dealing in biology, (except perhaps in reference to one of my lab partners).

So, Jim was already in bed reading by the time I got done turning the lights out and doing my evening ablutions. I started climbing into the bed and for some reason I said to him, “Well, I’ve done my ‘ablutions’ and am “cootie-free.” Jim turned to me and immediately told me that he had no way of knowing for sure. This drew fits of laughter from me, and a “discussion” of the matter ensued. I’ll remind you once again that this was 3:00 a.m., so anything goes! That means that even supposedly highly educated people can really be talking about cooties! Or, more  sinister, should we be asking ourselves if we’ve really gone “round the twist?” Naaaaaaahhh…

As such conversations progress, we ended-up in the equivalent of a verbal slap-fight, with accusations of “infestation” flying back and forth between fits of laughter. At that point, I should’ve either run for the bathroom to get the Cutter’s Insect Repellent, or maybe to the service porch for the Raid. Something had to end this idiotic conversation.

As I often do, I started to go to my personal “way-back machine“, and thought about the introduction of the word “cootie” my vocabulary. It came when I was very young, as most things do, and from my older sister, who threw accusations quite freely at me, from all directions, and without discrimination of our location. The worse of these accusations, of course, came at night, during the time we shared a bedroom. Oh God, it was nasty! She’d yell insults across the bedroom in fusilades: bad hair (in elementary school?), klutziness (she was the ballet dancer, and I the lowly ice skater and piano player, who routinely would have to be pulled away by friends in school to prevent me from walking into a post during conversation!) my “funny” southpaw penmanship, and after all of that, in a deep voice she seemed to draw from down low in her throat came the worst of all: You have COOTIES!!! It couldn’t have been more terrifying or scary if the voice had been Vincent Price! (Note: You probably have noticed all my exclamation marks…well, I’m an emotional sort.)

As an imaginative kid, I could picture the ephemeral bugs in disgusting detail. Worse yet, I could feel them crawling all over me! I remember kicking my legs about, and even, more than a few times, getting up out of bed and went to the bathroom, closed the door, turned on the light (which I did after closing the door to prevent my parents from seeing the light) to lift up my nightgown to check my legs for the crawlers or any other creepy-crawlies. I ended up as a young insomniac.

Fast forward to Chelsea, London, 1979: I was sitting in our local pub during lunch time from work, talking with friends and the “Kiwi” bartenders. After a pint and some really hot chips, I somehow got into a discussion with one of the fellows about one of the neighborhood dogs who routinely made the rounds of the King’s Road shops (where I worked at the newsagent’s) with his mistress. He was a big, shaggy dog named Charlie, and he was very well-behaved, as are most dogs in London. But Charlie walked without a lead, and we always had a box of treats for Charlie, or any of the local canine population who dropped in with their people. Well, as the conversation went into Charlie’s “demeanor”, my best buddy, a gay fellow named Nigel, who had been in veterinary school declared that Charlie was having a problem with an “infestation” in his shaggy, wiry coat. Okay, I was ready to shove Nigel for mentioning it, because I immediately started feeling as though I’d caught something from Charlie, as if his problem was airborne. Oy. Jerry, an affable bartender leaned over and put his elbows on the bar. He asked Nigel (aka Nikki) exactly what the nature of the the haplessw Charlie’s “infestation” was, because so many of us saw him on a daily basis, petting him and bending over to hug him. Nigel informed us that Charlie had contracted a case of cooties while out in the countryside. Uh-oh! Yikes! I had no idea that that particular “c” word was in the Anglo-English lexicon. But I guess the Pond is no barrier for cooties!

We continued on our pints, and I told them my “experience” cooties as a little kid. Laughs all around. “But,” Nigel told me, “Only dogs and cats get cooties”, and proceeded to tell me that humans never ever get them.

It gave me some food for thought: Perhaps Nigel was right! He was, afterall, experienced with critters in the animal world. Maybe I never did have the cooties as my sister had so vehemently accused!  And, even good ol’ Charlie was “cured” with a good, thorough flea-bath. I finished my tankard, hung it up, and took a brisk walk home to take a shower before starting on my column for the week.

So there, Jim! We can joke all you want, but I do not, nor have I ever had, COOTIES! (Except I did have the children’s game of the same name.)

And now, I think I’ll go for my evening/early morning “ablutions”. A little spritz of “Stella” au de cologne ought to keep the buggers away from me for the time being. And then I’ll get a good night’s sleep. It’s 1:30 a.m. Saturday morning anyway. It’ll be time for bed in 1-1/2 hours.

Tomorrow: the Trojans meet up with the Bruins in the LA Memorial Coliseum, USC’s “home turf”. Don’t know who I’ll put my money on. I guess it depends on which team has cooties.

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Late Night/Early Morning Musings…

It’s nearly 2:30 A.M. here in California, on a “cold” Monday night/Tuesday Morning. Cold? I don’t think my friends in Chicago, or even NoCal would agree with that…And by the standards of my experience when I lived in NYC, it’s downright balmy!

But ahhhh…It may not be as cold as those frigid wind/chilled nights in Park Slope, Brooklyn, when I could hear the wind whistling as it ripped around the exposed sides of my apartment. It was a comforting sound, actually, and reminded me of how lucky I was to be indoors, cuddling up on my bed with a stack of books and a 70-pound Labrador retriever!

So here I am, back in my native California, in a cozy place: A small home in the San Fernando Valley with my husband of just a year. With a fireplace, no less!!! Last night (Sunday 11/21) was our first fire of the year. It was a cold, rainy and generally dreary weekend, except that both UCLA and USC won their respective football games, the latter in a suspenseful ending to the contest!

But I digress (as I so often do: I was once told by a friend in NYC, “Your mind is a very strange place to be”). Upon hearing the weather predictions for the past weekend, I’d decided in advance that I’d get down to some real cooking! After a summer of my husband barbecuing dinner every night, it was time for me to put my love of cooking to the test, but going back to the kitchen for some real “work.”

Saturday, I made one of my specialties: French onion soup. It is so good, and after slicing up all those onions, I was thankful that we had a lemon tree out back, for the juice is helpful in getting rid of the odor that onions impart. I sliced, sauteed, simmered, then baked and broiled. The finished product was nothing short of the “high standards” I set for myself. One of the things I adore about married life is being able to cook for my husband, and watch as he enjoys my culinary “masterpieces”. (That’s my personal opinion there, but hell, this is MY blog, and I’ll say what I want about my own cooking!) I served the soup in crocks, and placed a dry-baked slice of sourdough bread at the bottom of the crocks. Ahhh…I ladled the soup into the deep bowls, and topped with freshly grated mozerella cheese. Onto a cookie sheet and under the broiler–just until the cheese is melted, bubbly, and lightly browned…Sheer heaven!

Sunday night, I’d planned in advance to prepare coq au vin for Jim and me, and it was a “labor of love” to use a cliche. Chopping again, this time salt pork, onion, shallots, and carrot. Yes, carrot. Not carrotS, but just one. I used only chicken thighs (we both prefer the dark meat) and put them in the pot with the other stuff, and let them brown on both sides. Sprinkled them with a mixture of herbs and flour and poured in three cups or so of dry red wine. Again, it was simmer, simmer, stir, simmer…It smelled so good, and again the fragrance filled the kitchen. Took about one and a half hours to cook through, but the wait and anticipation is part of the fun! I made the broad “Pennsylvania Dutch” noodles, and served them on plates, while I put the coq au vin into a serving bowl. Wow! Score another success! After about 45 minutes it was gone!

Time to build a fire! (At last I got to this part.) Since we were full and sated, we lazed before the fire, listening to classical music. My dear friend Jeri, a lifelong friend who lives in a Chicago suburb, had given us a book called “Dinners for Two” with menus and recipes from Napa Valley inns and wineries. It came with a CD of classical music excerpts. We got this a year ago just before we got married (a story for another time, because afterall, it is now almost 3:00 A.M. here, and I’m really starting to get a bit of a “clouded” mind. Okay, okay—I know that others might argue that this is a “chronic” state of mind for moi, but I don’t give a damn!) It was nice to “hang-out” in front of the fire with my hubby listening to music. And again, it was a “cold”, wet night in Southern California. And don’t believe anyone who says it never rains here! We may have drought years, but when it rains, it RAINS! As in days and days with no let up. (That’s in an El Nino year—this year is supposedly a La Nina year, meaning we’ll have a relatively “dry” season. Well sky, PROVE IT TO ME!!!!) So with apologies to all my friends back East, I will say again that it was cold. Wet. Perfect for a fire…

We never did sleep well last night—dinner was too rich and neither Jim nor I rested easily. I know I tossed around like a flounder for a bit before falling asleep. I was reading Freakanomics, by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner. A great read, by the way. As a former “practicing” economist, I’m finding it rather hilarious and entertaining. (But scary, all the same.) I noticed that Jim’s reading machine was off, so I know he’d drifted off into an uneasy sleep. I put my book down and turned out the light.

And so as the world turns, so it is time for me to call it a night and head off to bed. I’ll take my nighttime meds. I’ll read. I’ll sleep (hopefully)well), and tomorrow, Tuesday morning, it’ll start all over again. I hope. The alternative isn’t pleasant.

That’s my story, officer, and I’m sticking to it!

So much for

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Hi Friends!

This is my first posting, and due to a deadline later this morning, I must keep this short and sweet.
My words are not always short, and not always sweet, but they are honest. Return to my site to find discussions of everything from health issues to the state of our nation’s economy, and the state of our government! Be warned: I’m a Liberal Democrat, with a capital “L”, so consider yourselves forwarned!
Signing off for now,
Susieq

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Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. After you read this, you should delete and write your own post, with a new title above. Or hit Add New on the left (of the admin dashboard) to start a fresh post.

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